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In his candidacy speech, he remembers his famous pizza with mussels and polenta, similar to the Flexibility-Europe equation of the French president. Few chances of victory, but a natural sympathy that will perhaps be worth a candidacy in the Democratic Party, where, however, he will have to pretend to be Tuscan.
Matteo Macron – He is the real favorite. He has already won many talents including B Factor (the Italian Blair), O Factor (the Italian Obama, without a tie), V Factor (the Italian Valls, for the occasion in a white shirt), C Factor (the Italian Cameron, blue jacket), and others he lost badly (R Factor, the Italian Referendum). Unlike Macron, he has a party behind him, but he is doing everything to kill it. The political position is difficult: like Macron he is strongly liberal, except on Thursdays at four to five in which he pretends to be Labor while doing pilates. Strongly pro-European when it is convenient, it removes the flags of Europe when it is not convenient. Some flaws in his candidacy speech when he mentioned the great thinkers who influenced his thinking: La Pira, Mazinga, Baricco, Giucas Casella, Marchionne and Paperoga. He avoided calembours and foolish puns may have some chance.
Federico Macron – Very little is known about him, except that he is very young, that he joined the leadership of the Democratic Party because he is very young, and that he believes that the color of April 25 is blue, because he is very young and does not study. He defines himself as “almost Millennial”, because he asked his father 850 euros to go to Milan to hear Obama’s speech. A true Millennial would have asked for a thousand.
Mario Macron – Formerly known as Mario Monti, he boasts many similarities with the French president, first of all being acclaimed as a savior of the homeland without having parties behind him, but only banks. He remembers the loden and those few deputies of Civic Choice or whatever they call themselves now. His chances are reduced by his advanced age and by the not secondary fact that just seeing him, voters extract red garlic necklaces and croissants, so unlike Emmanuel Macron and Matteo Macron there is a little red.
Ursula Macron – Bank employee of Vercelli, has many similarities with the French president: she has a room with a poster of the Rothschild family, she is neither right nor left, she has no party behind her and underlines in her speech a sincere passion for Europe of which he knows a brasserie in Montmartre and the ramblas of Barcelona.
Enrico Macron – According to some critics it would be the closest to the original. Among other things, he teaches in France after being evicted from the government by another competitor of the talent, Matteo Macron. Unfortunately, poised and shy as he is, he does not participate in the race, partly out of modesty and partly because, unlike the others, he is not crazy.
Silvio Macron – Born cabaret artist, at ease on stage, he says he has already done what Macron did, which is to win with a party created in seven minutes. His knowledge of the French songs of the sixties gives him some chances, to which is added the sincere hatred for Matteo Le Pen. In his candidacy speech, however, he poorly translated the slogan “En marche” with a revealing “Ci rottio”. He is definitely old, but if he could merge all the girlfriends of the last 20 years into one woman, she would be 12,347 years old.
Let’s start once again. A new beginning. On the way. Ready go. The mood of the new neo-Renzian Pd that comes out of the primaries resembles the rules of hockey where there are timed expulsions: do a fallaccio, quit for three minutes and then come back. You lose a referendum, stay out for five months, then return to the field as a champion, all is forgiven, a powerful reset cancels the hero’s previous exploits to give us a brand new hero.